Another negative

I first want to say that I am in awe, at the outpouring of love and support that Luke and I are getting from all of our friends and family.  Both near and far, old and new.  When we started down this road, I never imagined that we would have so many people praying and pulling for us and I am touched, just simply touched.  Thank you to all of you out there praying and rooting for us.  We love and greatly appreciate you all, and I thank God for each of you every single day.

Today we found out that after our 2 embryo transfer that we are not pregnant. I am devastated, completely devastated, but have to move on.  As far as I know, all is not lost.  We will go in to talk to the doctor in about 3 weeks.  This will give him time to reevaluate my records look at this round of IVF and see what he believes to be going on.  However, it is becoming clear to him that there is a problem with my eggs.  At my age, and the way I responded to the medicine we should have gotten many more mature eggs, and many more that should have fertilized.  So what's going on?  Hopefully we will find out when we go in for our post IVF appointment.  Fortunately we paid for 2 fresh and 2 frozen cycles of IVF.  Unfortunately we did not get any to freeze this round.  Here's praying to lots of good eggs the next round and we get many to fertilize, to transfer, and to freeze.  The only problem with this is we still have to pay for the medicine each time, which cost anywhere from $3,000-$6,000. 

I know God has a plan for us, and I will continue to keep my faith, but He is definitely not making this easy.  I have to take peace in the fact that it is not our time and when our time does come it is going to be AWESOME. 

Embryo transfer day!

Today was embryo transfer day. Though it was scheduled for 10:30 our day started a lot earlier. We had to be at Buckhead Acupuncture for my pre-transfer session at 8:45. This session didn't get started till almost 9 because we had to wait for confirmation that we were in fact transferring today. Once we got verification we went ahead as planned which kept us very short on time. Fortunately the distance between Buckhead Acupuncture and RBA's main office is only about 10 miles, a 12 minute drive. When the session was over we immediately headed for RBA for the transfer, AND then back to Buckhead Acupuncture for the post-transfer session.

The actual transfer process was very interesting. Got there with an extremely full bladder, per doctors orders. The transfer is ultra sound guided and the full bladder helps them to see the uterus better. Luckily Dr. Slayden (our doctor) was the on call doctor today and he actually got to perform the procedure. Once in the room I had to undress from the waist down and then laid down on the table. When I laid down I faced a tv screen that had a picture of our 3 embryos. Dr. Slayden came in and discussed what he thought about what we had, and we then waited for the embryologist. Once the embryologist came in he and Dr. Slayden discussed both together and with us what they thought was the best scenario for us. We had 1 embryo that had developed to 8 cells, and 2 embryos that had developed to 4 cells. What did we/they decide? To transfer both the 8 celled embryo, and 1 of the 4 cell embryos. The remaining embryo...we are waiting to see if it will develop anymore, and if so we will freeze that one. We pray that it continues to grow. Go little embryo, go!

Currently I have an 8 celled embryo and a 4 celled embryo that are hopefully strong enough to keep growing and dividing, now that they are inside of me, and will attach themselves to my uterus. On Friday, February 24 I will head back to RBA to get a pregnancy test. As always we are praying for our precious embryos, that the Lord's will be done and the best thing for us will happen.

Left ovary with some follicles.

Right ovary with follicles.

Our 3 embryos!

We may have a transfer!

The date and time has been set tomorrow at 10:30 to transfer my embryos. Providing all three zygotes turned into embryos. They have not looked at them today so as to not disturb them while growing, if they look good and strong tomorrow morning they will postpone the transfer till Wednesday. I will know some time before 10:00. So while we are hoping for the procedure to be postponed I am praying that the Lord's will be done. Only He knows what is best and the plan he has for us. Something I realized yesterday after balling my eyes out...I really need to be grateful for the fact that 1. We have 3 fertilized eggs ( some couples get none) 2. that Luke and I have the ability both financially and physically to do this. (There are some, who don't even get this chance). I have also learned that this is a test of our Faith and probably our Strength and that He does have a plan for us and that the plan that He has set forth is the BEST one for us. Good things come to those who wait. So while I have learned and realized this, it definitely does not make it any easier. I do pray that His will be done and that at the very least, that our 3 zygotes turned into the strongest, healthiest embryos known to date!

As always, thanks for your continued prayers!

It's a roller coaster!

Yesterday was my egg retrieval and we were on a high. Dr. Slayden was able to get 14 eggs from the various follicles I had. We knew that RBA would call by 1 today to let us know what we have. We also knew that just because we had 14 eggs, that didn't mean we would get 14 embryos. Today they called around 9 and let us know that out of the 14 eggs only 5 of them were mature, and out of those 5 only 3 of them fertilized. So what does this mean? It means we have to wait till tomorrow to find out if the zygotes that we do have turn into embryos and can be transferred into my uterus. Our high turned very quickly into a low. Yes, I know that I cannot lose hope, which of course is very easy to say, especially if you are not the one going through it, or have never had to go through it. I have to wonder if God wants us to be parents. I have cried harder today than I have throughout this entire process. This is not fun and I DO NOT wish it upon anyone, not even my worst enemy! If these zygotes do not turn into embryos, I "get" to do this entire process all over again. Which is not cheap. The drugs alone are over 2000 dollars. To all of you reading and following this blog, please pray that our 3 zygotes turn into embryos and can be transferred back into my uterus.

The wait is over!

Whether it was the acupuncture or nature that got things flowing, I don't know and frankly don't care. The important things is we are well on our way to an egg retrieval. Aunt Flow made her appearance on Sunday and on Monday I gave myself my first hormone shot. This of course after a scare that we may not be able to move forward because they found a cyst on my left ovary at my suppression appointment that was not there before. It was potentially another blow, but we prevailed and all was good. Got the call Tuesday we were good to go...Yay!

Here we are on day three of my hormone shots and day two of my new herbal "tea". Just when I thought the taste could not get any worse...it did. That's ok though, anything to have a successful IVF treatment...right? In approximately 12-14 days from Monday we will have an egg retrieval! Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers all continues to go well.

A special thanks to all of our friends and family for all of the prayers throughout this year as we have gone through this process. A very special thanks to God for providing us with the financial means to be able to do all of this and all the many blessings He has given us, even if at times they didn't seem like blessings. Looking back I now know they were blessings and that there is a reason for everything and the timing just wasn't right.